You put your left wing out, you put your left wing in … (trad. Labour)
What a farce! All we need now is for Boris Johnson to stagger through a door with his trousers around his ankles. Those of you too young to get the reference should look up Brian Rix and the Whitehall Farces. These were staged at the now defunct Whitehall Theatre and involved characters toing and froing through various doors, mostly bedrooms, and invariably ended with the main character, played by the excellent Brian Rix being caught with his trousers down.
It seems that the establishment has woken up to the mistake they made in getting rid of poor Jeremy. Now they have nobody to blame for all the misfortunes currently afflicting our poor, benighted, soon to be even more disastrously affected country. So they staged a Festival of The Suspension of Jeremy, only just falling short of declaring it a public holiday. This, unfortunately only lasted for a few days before even the poor excuses of journalists in the extended Tory propaganda machine had little to return to but the blatant, open corruption at the heart of the British Establishment. Sinking the boats of desperate poor people had lost its appeal. Reporting on the poor people being killed in Yemen, Syria and Gaza remains strictly forbidden. Then someone had a brilliant idea: bring Jeremy back, then you can suspend him again! Joy everywhere! Robert Peston almost choked on his toast and marmalade and Laura Kuenssberg swooned with delight. Margaret Hodges even allowed herself to be dragged away from gazing lovingly at the bank statements for her millions stashed away in tax havens to spit out a bit more bile. It is the gift that keeps on giving. This could run until at least Christmas and by the new year, when the real Brexit misery strikes and people begin to realise just how badly they have been swindled, the Johnson gang will have ridden out of town clutching their ill-gotten gains. A new gang will have appeared clutching hands to hearts saying “it wasn’t me guv” and we will be so happy because when we give them control of all the money they are bound to use it all to help us. That is what they will tell us and, after all, they are such nice well spoken gentlemen, so we can believe everything they say.